The Perfect Purse

The perfect purse.  After extensive field research, I believe I can describe with some authority its qualities.  However I can offer no assurances that it actually exists.  If it once did, it has likely become extinct.  I’ve encountered and studied each and every one of the below listed qualities, but have so far been unsuccessful in locating one purse that possesses them all.  Frankly, I suspect there are efforts afoot to prevent this from happening, because if it did, everyone would just buy this purse and the market would crash.

  1. There is only one main compartment – no divider down the middle.  More than one main area just causes confusion and makes it take longer to find what you are looking for.  This main compartment has a zip closure which completely closes it – no gaps – so stuff doesn’t go everywhere if it falls off of something or falls over – because it is GOING to fall off of something or fall over.
  2. Inside the main compartment there is one zipper pocket in the liner, big enough for lip balm, dental floss, migraine pills, and other things that younger women might still need.
  3. It has a pocket on the outside with no closure so it is easy to quickly drop your cell phone into it and to retrieve it with equal ease without having to bother to snap/unsnap or zip/unzip something – but it is deep enough so the phone doesn’t easily slip out unbidden.
  4. It is big enough for all the things you need with you all the time, with a little space left over for that extra thing you might need to drop in there occasionally just until you get home.
  5. It has a metal loop on it somewhere which you can clip your keys to using one of those little carabiners.  (Very convenient, and the best way I’ve found to not lose my keys.)
  6. It also has a pocket for your keys (similar to the one you use for your cell phone) for the days that you aren’t in the mood to use that little carabiner because it can sort of take away from the beauty of the bag . . . and, they jingle when you walk.
  7. The handle straps are flat, not round and just the right angle and dimensions relative to the purse so that it stays easily on your shoulder.
  8. It is lightweight.  It is going to get heavy when you put all your stuff in it; it shouldn’t start out heavy.  Those sparkly metal decorations might be pretty, but they aren’t worth the extra weight.
  9. The liner is not of a dark color – reflects light to make it easier to find things.  Ideally it is an attractive color and pattern.  OR it actually has a tiny light that comes on when you open it. (I’ve seen these once or twice.)
  10. It can sit up by itself.  It is constructed so that when you place it on a flat surface, it stays bottom down, top up.
  11. It isn’t overly expensive just because of some stupid name on it.  It costs what its materials and workmanship actually merit, with an adequate profit for the manufacturer and merchant added to that.
  12. Ideally, it is made from a nice, soft leather, but this is negotiable if all of the other traits are present.  A pretty print fabric or shiny vinyl can be nice.
  13. And finally – it is pretty enough that strangers will compliment you on it.

As I said, I have little hope that this elusive creation exists anywhere.  If you can find ALL of the above qualities in one handbag, then . . well, how much do you want for it?

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About dahnajeen

I'm Donna Jean Hunter. My 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Patterson told me I was a great writer and would be an author when I grew up. She always had me read my stories to the class, and even took me around to the other classrooms to have me read to them. I'm pretty sure the other kids all hated me that year. I don't care though. I love Mrs. Patterson. Of course she did not know then about the Internet and blogging and how much of what people read would no longer be on paper when I grew up. I have had a few things published in a college literary journal, and once, for a few weeks--until it threatened to kill me with boredom and I quit--I actually received pay for working as a technical writer. But so far, I have not been able to say that I'm a writer in the sense that it is what I do for a living. I still sort of dream of that happening one day. But in the meantime, I teach high school English, and can't stop being a writer whether anyone reads it or not. I hope someone enjoys some of it.
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