It’s Over

You little BITCH! You used to be my friend. You used to hug me and tell me I was pretty. And now – just because I’ve changed a little bit – every time you come near me, you hurt my feelings. I can’t believe I ever let you so close to me. You are so fake. And I knew that all along, really. Yes, I knew; I knew what you were made of. I just didn’t say anything. I pretended not to notice because you were always so kind to me. But now . . . well, I see how you really are. As soon as I don’t fit YOUR idea of perfection, you just fly all out of shape! Oh, but you went right on staying in the space I provided for you, didn’t you? Just sat right there and didn’t say a word and then one day I need something from you and what do I get? Heartbreak. I see how it really is now. I hope you’ll be happy with whatever little bimbo you end up with next. I’m sure she’ll pick you up at some cheap dive and say “Ooh so cuuuute!” and take you home with her. Well good luck to you both. I’m through with you! It’s ok though. Cotton still loves me. (letter to Spandex)

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What’s that? Can’t do that here? Haha – yeah, ok.

As I sit in class at UTA — “a tobacco free campus” since August 1, 2011 — and see through the windows the puffs of cigarette smoke wafting up from the somewhat secluded area just below my classroom, or walk between the buildings in another even more secluded area now paved with cigarette butts, or watch the gentleman sitting smoking peacefully and right out in the open on a bench in front of the library, I chuckle to myself and am reminded once again how foolish people (or institutions) make themselves appear when they insist on mandating unenforceable rules. From parenting a toddler or teenager, right on up to . . . well, every other relationship you have with anyone – you are wise if you attempt only very rarely and when completely necessary to control what another human being does or does not do. Save that effort for something you have some tiny hope of actually being able to enforce, because once you have said, “You absolutely will not do XYZ,” — and especially when you brag that “No one does XYZ here,” because this is “An XYZ Free Zone” — then every time someone does XYZ, you are proven weak, out of touch, or just plain silly. Not only are people still doing what you do not want them to do, but now they are laughing at you while they do it and listening to you even less the next time you speak.

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Teach Your Children Well

Geez, I am so sad for some kids. There is a woman sitting in the library with her child imprisoned in a stroller next to her, with nothing but a TOOTHBRUSH to entertain himself with, while she does something on a computer. He’s about two years old, so chewing on things has lost the thrill it once held for him. Still, he is mostly quiet and well behaved – babbles to himself sweetly for a while and then sort of groans in what I interpret as boredom. Her response is to jerk the stroller closer to her and snap at him to “Be quiet!” Ummm . . . hello? Library? BOOK? Do ya think that adorable curly-topped head might have a brain inside of it that needs some stimulation?

I went to the children’s section and found a board book (anticipating correctly her eye-rolling objection that “He’ll just tear the pages”) and then after pointing out to her the durable pages, gained her permission and handed it to him. He clutched it and looked at me, almost smiling but like he wasn’t sure what to do. I smiled back, pointed to the book and said enthusiastically, “Look at the bears!” Then he looked down and slowly started turning the board pages and looking at the pictures. He’s been bent over the book intently for several minutes now. I’ve heard him chuckle a couple of times, and he looked up at me and smiled once.

You will never hear me saying that parenting is easy. But Godfrey Daniels! There are some elements of it that are pretty dang simple, and when I see someone blessed with a child and seemingly unable to grasp the really basic stuff, it worries me. If I hang around long enough, I’ll probably have that kid in my high school class, and he’ll probably look at me like I’m an alien when I suggest he read something.

Please – surround your children with books they can enjoy from an early age, and read to them often. It is one of the least expensive ways you can find to entertain them – free if you use the library – and the rewards are invaluable.

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The Perfect Purse

The perfect purse.  After extensive field research, I believe I can describe with some authority its qualities.  However I can offer no assurances that it actually exists.  If it once did, it has likely become extinct.  I’ve encountered and studied each and every one of the below listed qualities, but have so far been unsuccessful in locating one purse that possesses them all.  Frankly, I suspect there are efforts afoot to prevent this from happening, because if it did, everyone would just buy this purse and the market would crash.

  1. There is only one main compartment – no divider down the middle.  More than one main area just causes confusion and makes it take longer to find what you are looking for.  This main compartment has a zip closure which completely closes it – no gaps – so stuff doesn’t go everywhere if it falls off of something or falls over – because it is GOING to fall off of something or fall over.
  2. Inside the main compartment there is one zipper pocket in the liner, big enough for lip balm, dental floss, migraine pills, and other things that younger women might still need.
  3. It has a pocket on the outside with no closure so it is easy to quickly drop your cell phone into it and to retrieve it with equal ease without having to bother to snap/unsnap or zip/unzip something – but it is deep enough so the phone doesn’t easily slip out unbidden.
  4. It is big enough for all the things you need with you all the time, with a little space left over for that extra thing you might need to drop in there occasionally just until you get home.
  5. It has a metal loop on it somewhere which you can clip your keys to using one of those little carabiners.  (Very convenient, and the best way I’ve found to not lose my keys.)
  6. It also has a pocket for your keys (similar to the one you use for your cell phone) for the days that you aren’t in the mood to use that little carabiner because it can sort of take away from the beauty of the bag . . . and, they jingle when you walk.
  7. The handle straps are flat, not round and just the right angle and dimensions relative to the purse so that it stays easily on your shoulder.
  8. It is lightweight.  It is going to get heavy when you put all your stuff in it; it shouldn’t start out heavy.  Those sparkly metal decorations might be pretty, but they aren’t worth the extra weight.
  9. The liner is not of a dark color – reflects light to make it easier to find things.  Ideally it is an attractive color and pattern.  OR it actually has a tiny light that comes on when you open it. (I’ve seen these once or twice.)
  10. It can sit up by itself.  It is constructed so that when you place it on a flat surface, it stays bottom down, top up.
  11. It isn’t overly expensive just because of some stupid name on it.  It costs what its materials and workmanship actually merit, with an adequate profit for the manufacturer and merchant added to that.
  12. Ideally, it is made from a nice, soft leather, but this is negotiable if all of the other traits are present.  A pretty print fabric or shiny vinyl can be nice.
  13. And finally – it is pretty enough that strangers will compliment you on it.

As I said, I have little hope that this elusive creation exists anywhere.  If you can find ALL of the above qualities in one handbag, then . . well, how much do you want for it?

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Dancing With Pat

I wrote this for my friend and then Zumba teacher, Pat, in honor of her birthday in 2009.  The music, the dancing, and her enthusiastic spirit while teaching inspired me.  

This poem was later published in the Tarrant County College Literary Journal.

 

Dancing with Pat
By: Donna Hunter – November 2009

 

I wanna be like Pat.

I wanna dance like that!

She’ll show me how.

Ok, watch her feet.
Ain’t they sweet?
Ok, yeah, my feet can do that!

If I can just get mine to keep doing
What hers do
Then maybe the rest of me will follow.

Oh I don’t know. 

She’s so hot and purty.
Sigh . . . I feel so white and nerdy.

Can I do this?

Glance up and see that energetic smile,
Those bright eyes, looking right at me in the mirror.
She’s nodding her head at me like she thinks I’m doing well . . .

Maybe I can.

Smile, listen to the music, keep going.

Hey, look at my feet go!
They are going just like Pat’s!

Woo Hoo!  I’m awesome.
I love this music!  I’m doing it!

Wait a minute . . .

WHAT is her butt doing? 

Does she have a motor in that thing?

Groan.

Overweight, out of shape, Would Be Ballerina
Heaves a sigh and tries to keep up with Little Fit Latina.

Can’t let all that footwork go to waste.
I’ll start slow on the wiggle and work my way up.

She go boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom!
I go . . .boom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  boom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . !

She go boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom!
I go  . . boom . . . . . boom . . . . . boom . . . . . .boom . . . . .! 

Yeah that works.  I’m getting there.  I’m dancing with Pat.  

Feet – check.

Wiggle – check.

Arms?! – shit.

Ok, watch her hands, do what they do . . .

Dammit.

Lost the feet.

Start over.

Keep dancing. 

Friends smile.

We’re all beautiful. 

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Stretch, Relax, Cry

Tears in my ears in Yoga class,
During that last part,
Where the teacher says relax.

Relax your body,
And your mind.
Just breathe.

Things are not really
As we see them,
She said.

Ohhhmmm Shanti
Shanti, Shanti . . .
Yes please.

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Romeo and Juliet in less than a minute

I wrote this one a while back.  It was published in the TCC-NW Campus journal, “Marine Creek Reflections,” in 2001.  Thought I would share it here now.

Romeo and Juliet (Condensed)
by Donna Hunter

In disguise
They met eyes.
Pretty she,
Excited he.
Much in love,
Stars above!
Parents hate
Sealed their fate.
Altercation!
Vengeance taken!
Meanwhile –
Juveniles
In a hurry
(Cause for worry)
Married soon,
Honeymoon,
Separation,
Miscommunication.
They felt alarm,
Flipped their lids,
Bought the farm . . .
Stupid kids.

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Not Yet

I drive down the street in silence,
Return a movie, stop by Sonic to
Get a Dr Pepper,
And then continue on toward . . .
Home?

I live almost anonymously in the city now,
Just like I once dreamed of doing,
While living too well known.
No.
Not known.
Known of.

I thought then how wonderful it would be
To just be a stranger,
To raise my head up and
Look around and see only people who
About me knew
Nothing.

That would be a relief, I thought then.
And it is.

I go to the grocery store
And see only people I do not know,
Have never seen before,
And will probably never see again.
No one knows who I am here.

No one knew who I was there either.
But they thought they did.
And that was worse.

With a sigh I realize
That yes, this is better.
Quiet mostly.
Peace mostly.
But is this it?

I’m not sure where I’m going.
But I hope I’m not there yet.

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Medium

Continue reading

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Do the math.

Ok folks, listen up, this is important: The idea that you need health insurance for routine medical care is a big ole bunch of hooey.  We have all been hypnotized to think we need it and the truth is that the health insurance racket is what is making everything medical so damned expensive.  We need health care – yes.  We need health care insurance?  I don’t think so.  Of course, the incidence of major illnesses or accidents presents an exception. There used to be something called “major medical insurance” for these.  I’m talking here about routine health/medical care, and I would almost guarantee the plan I’m about to suggest.  Here it is:  Take whatever you are paying (or would pay) for health insurance and put it in a savings account instead.  Then tell your doctors, pharmacists, dentists, eye doctor, etc. that you do not have insurance and ask what kinds of discounts, or less expensive prescriptions are available.  Pay for it all out of that savings account, and I betcha you end up with money still in that account at the end of the year.

After I got laid off (2009), I had 15 months of government subsidized COBRA coverage.  With the subsidy, I could just afford to keep it, so I did – because “You GOTTA have insurance!” I paid $130 a month for it (35% of the total premium.)  Most of those 15 months went by without me visiting the doctor’s office, but when I did, it cost me $20.  When I had to fill my migraine medication it cost me $25, and my blood pressure medication was $4.

Then, about 10 months ago, the subsidy ran out and I couldn’t afford to pay the whole premium, so I cancelled the insurance and held my breath waiting to go completely broke because “EEK, I don’t have medical insurance!”  I made a point in those last few months of visiting every doctor and specialist I have “one last time” to make sure everything was as ok as I could get it before losing my coverage (gasp!)

Ok, so now I do not spend that $130 every month for insurance premiums.  That’s  $1,560 a year less going out, right?  Right.

Doctor’s visits: Because I am now a “fee for service” (instead of insurance billed) customer,  I pay $55 to see my doctor, instead of $20.  That’s $35 more than it would cost me with insurance.

My migraine medication: Very expensive.  $25 for 6 doses with insurance, over $200 without insurance.  EXCEPT – the drug manufacturer has a deal on their website that allows me to get it for $55.  Doooo ya REALLY think they are selling it to me at a loss now?  No – they were just making ungodly amounts of profit off my insurance company before.  So I pay $30 more for my migraine medication now.  ($35 + $30 = $65)
Update: This discount was from Phizer for Relpax; I later was able to get Maxalt, another medication that works for me, from Merck, completely free through their patient assistance program.

Blood pressure medicine: It now costs me a whopping $11 instead of $4.  There goes another $7.  ($65 + $7 = $72)

Ok, so that’s $72 more I had to pay because of the fact that I DIDN’T pay $130 for insurance.  Hmmm . . . $130 – $72 = $58.  <– That’s how much LESS I spent without insurance – and that’s just in a month where I went to the doctor and filled both my prescriptions.  I don’t do that every month.  Most months, all I do is NOT give $130 to an insurance company.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but so far I think I’m duh, winning.

Then yesterday, I went to the eye doctor (to pay plain old money for an eye exam.)  The lady asked me if I wanted this optional test they offer (some kind of retina camera exam.)  A year or two ago, (when I had vision insurance) I paid significantly more to have this optional test done.  Remembering that fee, I said “No, I guess not this time.”  As the lady walked me back to the exam room, she noticed my chart and said, “Oh you don’t have insurance.”  I said, “Right, I don’t.”  She said, “Well in that case the retina camera test is free.”  What?  Yeah that’s right.  Not just discounted – free.  If they bill insurance they “have to” charge you a certain amount, but if not – not.
Update: I also found out how to save a bundle on the actual eyeglasses – around $60 instead of between $300 and $400. I have used Zenni Optical and Glasses USA, and there are some other sites as well.

Who is brave enough to try out my plan with me?  I would not have been if I hadn’t been sort of forced into it, but now I am REALLY regretting all the money I have paid in insurance premiums in the past.  Even when employed, I still had to pay part of it.  I know I could have a car wreck, a heart attack, or come down with a major illness – anyone could.  But let’s face it – hospitals are not allowed to turn you away in an emergency, something really major is going to break you financially anyway, and for semi-major things, maybe if you’ve been saving all that insurance premium money, you’ll be able to pay the hospital bill – WHICH remember will not be nearly as high in the first place, because “OH!  You don’t have insurance!

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